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Author Topic: Mechanisms of Prejudice: Hidden and Not Hidden  (Read 6471 times)

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AGelbert

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Re: Mechanisms of Prejudice: Hidden and Not Hidden
« Reply #300 on: September 29, 2018, 07:16:56 pm »
Quote
🦍 👹 😈 Does anyone actually believe the allegations against Kavanaugh? Isn't it a little fishy that all of a sudden every Republican politician is under fire for things that no one can prove?

MG Berge 👍👍👍, Consultant

Answered Friday, September 28, 2018
 
Yesterday was a watershed moment for me as a Fat old privileged white man. My suggestion is that you listen carefully and digest before reveling in your partisan thoughts.

First off, I do believe the allegations against Kavanaugh, in part due to Ford’s testimony, in part due to his, but even more so due to my personal realizations. His anger and tears were the emotions of a man caught in a lie. Have patience with me as I tell you a relevant story. It was just over 18 years ago that I met my lovely wife. During our short courtship period, she revealed her traumatic story to me. As a single young mother, several years before we met, she was assaulted in much the same manner as Ford claims. Having just started a new job one month prior, she was encouraged to attend a dinner with a good many co-workers as well as very senior executives in the conference room at a local hotel/convention center. People were laughing and showing off pictures of their families. It seemed to be a good team building moment. At the end of the two-hour event, she has a foggy recollection of being carried upstairs by two of the senior execs, unable to move. Now if you assume she had consumed too much, you would be wrong as she was a competitive bodybuilder/fitness athlete. She did not drink and was obsessive about her diet. Something was put into her water.

Those two senior execs, that had spent a great deal of time showing her pictures of their families and winning her trust, R A P E D HER. She recalls it very clearly. Having two kids to feed, she was worried about her job and struggled to go to work the next day, but she went. Noticing she was distraught, two female co-workers asked and she relayed the incident, whereby she was encouraged to go to the hospital. She did so only after finishing the day's work as she was afraid of losing her job. The police came, she was photographed (there were many marks) and in the end, she did not press charges. WHY? Again, she was afraid of losing her job and she knew that she would be condemned, not the senior execs. There were kids to feed.

I was certainly compassionate when I heard the story, but it just did not really register on me. Then we have yesterday. I had the TV on to the news (mostly for noise) while I worked in my home office. I had not one inkling that this hearing should have an effect on my wife. Oh, but did it have an effect. Ms. Ford’s testimony had my wife transfixed, it brought everything back for her as if the event in question was yesterday. How in the sam hell could I be so blind, so inconsiderate and stupid?

The answer to the how is that I am one of the guilty, that being a privileged old white man. No, I have never assaulted or raped anyone, far from it, but I certainly have been callous to women's rights. I laughed at the life-sized Wile E Coyote doll in the trophy case of the team house. One arm cut off and a name tape across the chest and a spare silly looking hat on its head. It was a trophy that some worked hard to win, though I will let you all imagine how. I have told jokes at women's expense and unconsciously looked at women in the workplace as playing only a supporting role. I have bought into the sexual objectification of women as promoted by TV/print advertising as well as Hollywood and the conservative culture I grew up in. I was taught that us men were proper and conservative when in reality we were selfish p r i c k s.

Last night I realized my gross stupidity but it took the suffering of my wife watching this entire sordid affair to do so. I feel horrible.

The whole confirmation/Republican/Democrat thing is nothing but bullshit. I was sickened by both Republicans and Democrats yesterday as both used Dr. Ford as nothing but an expendable tool in order to get their way. I often think we have fallen so far, but then again, maybe we have never climbed out of the stinking hole filled with s h i t that we have always been in.

My concept is “when in doubt, throw it out”. 👍 This is a job interview and the Judge is owed nothing. The response should be “Thank you Mr. Kavanaugh, you are impressive but we need to look elsewhere”. There is no shortage of candidates that have no baggage. I am happy that all of this is coming out, painful though it may be. Change is needed and the privileged white guy needs to be taken down a notch or 50.

It is time we start acting like dignified people pulling in a unified direction. This selfishness and tribal mentality will quickly destroy a great nation. We can be better than this!!!!!!!

Edit:

While I am trying to keep up with comments and clarify where I can, it is getting a bit out of my hands, so I thought I would add a couple points here. In regards to women's, rights, I am heartened to see the groundswell of activity and attitude that has occurred over the last several years. Writing the words “women's rights” seems odd to me as those rights should be expected, taken for granted. But they have not been and we are now seeing the results. I say it is about time.

As to Judge Kavanaugh, I have said enough about him already. There are enough words floating around out there professing his guilt or innocence, how this is right or wrong so that I do not need to add any more insight. What I see this being about is full disclosure. Not by Kavanaugh but by all women. There has been so much abuse specifically because us men have not been held accountable. Understandably. most women HAVE BEEN afraid to come forward after an assault.

Even today, my wife does not want anyone to know about her assault. In fact, I am feeling bad about this written story right now and it may have to come down. She is afraid of how it could affect her in the workplace, how it could affect the opinions of friends and family. Embarrassed, ashamed, scared or maybe just fearful of having to continually face the memories are all reasons for staying silent. Then we have the knowledge that for so long, the victim will be held to blame and the assaulter will face no repercussions.

Us men have gotten away with our poor behavior for so long, comfortable in the knowledge that no one will say anything, and if they do we can just deny it. This confirmation process is stoking the fires of anger in many, many women. They are sharing their story, opening the floodgates. Doing this by many will change the calculation. When aggressors realize it will be much harder to get away with poor behavior, there will be less poor behavior to try and get away with.

To be sure, there will be collateral damage, impacts to undeserving men, it is inevitable. Maybe that collateral damage will be to Kavanaugh, maybe to me. If so, that's fine as everything good in life comes at a cost.

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https://www.quora.com/Does-anyone-actually-believe-the-allegations-against-Kavanaugh-Isnt-it-a-little-fishy-that-all-of-a-sudden-every-Republican-politician-is-under-fire-for-things-that-no-one-can-prove
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