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Author Topic: Non-routine News  (Read 6351 times)

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AGelbert

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Ladies and Gentlemen, It's Time to Panic 

Hamilton Nolan    7/08/15 12:23pm

Have you noticed anything odd going on this morning? Oh yes. Let us be the first to tell you that the time to panic is upon us.

ITEM: The New York City subway system suffered an atrocious commute today, with some trains being inexplicably stranded in stations for long periods of time.

ITEM: The website “The Dissolve” folded today.

ITEM: United Airlines was forced to ground all of its flights after its computer system mysteriously stopped working.

ITEM: The New York Stock Exchange suspended trading today after its computerized trading system mysteriously stopped working.

ITEM: Immediately after, the Wall Street Journal’s website mysteriously stopped working.

ITEM: More than 2,500 people in Washington, DC mysteriously lost power.

It seems our nation’s centers of powers are facing a mysterious and spreading collapse.

I choose to panic. If you choose to remain calm, good—I’ll get away ahead of you.  ;D


http://gawker.com/ladies-and-gentlemen-its-time-to-panic-1716514222
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. Pr. 13:12

 

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