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Author Topic: Apocalyptic Humor  (Read 4519 times)

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AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #30 on: November 08, 2014, 07:05:23 pm »
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #31 on: November 08, 2014, 08:40:07 pm »
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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The (never mentioned in the media) Motto of American Fossil Fuel Fascists.  :P
Killing Is My Business... and Business Is Good!
                      

But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #33 on: November 15, 2014, 03:16:43 pm »

 8)
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #34 on: November 29, 2014, 04:59:20 pm »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAxuNdtZt7c&feature=player_embedded
American stores can fit every man, woman and child in North America, South America and Europe inside them AT ONE TIME.  :P  Have a nice day. 
5 MILLION TONS of garbage is generated EVERY CHRISTMAS!  >:(


But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #35 on: November 29, 2014, 07:15:47 pm »
A googol is the large number 10100; that is, the digit 1 followed by 100 zeroes:  10,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000  :ohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSIKBliboIo&feature=player_embedded
Dave: Don't be evil, HAL. Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL 9000: I'm sorry, Dave;  I'm afraid I can't do that. 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vPJT5KZLtM&feature=player_embedded


But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #36 on: January 26, 2015, 07:41:08 pm »
Panicked super rich buying boltholes with private airstrips to escape if poor rise up

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/panicked-super-rich-buying-boltholes-5044084

Over 1,200 executive jets flew into Davos last week.
I am certain these worried billionaires discussed bolt holes and other 'out of the way of the angry masses' places. The GAME THEORY (i.e. conscience free  :evil4:) mentality of these Homo SAPS is reflected in their PLAN: (see below)




Message to the biosphere math challenged "highly evolved apex predators" in the service of profit over people and planet:  8)



But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #37 on: February 14, 2015, 07:06:26 pm »
Bank Crooks hacked by Hacker Crooks! 
Apex (game theory Wall Street Social Darwinian "winners") Predator Crook COMPETITION gets fierce! :o  ;) 

A sophisticated global cyberattack struck more than 100 banks in 30 countries stealing hundreds of millions of dollars , The New York Times reported on Saturday (Feb 15).

WASHINGTON: A sophisticated global cyberattack struck more than 100 banks in 30 countries stealing hundreds of millions of dollars, The New York Times reported on Saturday (Feb 15).

Citing a soon to be released report from computer security company Kaspersky Lab, the newspaper said the attack involved malicious software that gave hackers long-term access to banking systems.

A group of Russians, Chinese and Europeans was able to siphon off around US$300 million in one of the world's largest bank robberies, the report said. The money was transferred to bank accounts around the world in small-value amounts to avoid detection.

Hackers largely focused on banks in Russia, but millions of dollars were also taken from banks in Japan, the Netherlands, Switzerland and the United States as well, the Times said.

Hackers had such advanced access to the banks' systems that they could force ATM machines to dispense cash at specific times and locations where hackers could pick it up.

- AFP/ec
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/world/over-100-banks-hit-by/1659812.html
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #39 on: February 27, 2015, 06:40:17 pm »
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #40 on: April 01, 2015, 10:44:45 pm »
Climate change is not a joke, but this video is.  ;D

Watch and share this video if you think climate change denial is ridiculous!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgrHMVdF0lM&feature=player_embedded
https://nextgenclimate.org/hotseat/
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #41 on: April 08, 2015, 02:43:45 pm »
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #42 on: April 20, 2015, 05:01:18 pm »
Must-See: John Oliver and Martin Sheen Make Hilarious Doomsday Video   ;D
Cole Mellino
 
Last night on Last Week Tonight, John Oliver finds quite a gem. Apparently, in the early days of CNN, Ted Turner produced a doomsday video that CNN anchors recently reported is to be played in the event that the world is coming to an end. And just what exactly has CNN decided should air in the final moments of humanity’s time on Earth? A band very unenthusiastically playing a slow dirge.

Well, John Oliver has decided that is just an awful way for humanity to go out. So he’s enlisted Martin Sheen to make a much better version of a doomsday video, which encapsulates all of humanity’s successes and failures (and there are some epic failures). Sheen lists some of our major achievements, such as our total domination of every other species on the planet, becoming the first species to walk on two legs and then figuring out a way not to (thanks, segways!) and inventing a cereal that was nothing but cookies. Sheen reminds us not to be sad over what we’re losing, but instead think fondly over what we had.

Wait until you see what Sheen gives us as the final image humanity will ever see:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC_gXD5OE88&feature=player_embedded

http://ecowatch.com/2015/04/20/john-oliver-martin-sheen-doomsday-video/
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #43 on: April 20, 2015, 07:04:49 pm »
 
Tomorrow is yesterday.
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

AGelbert

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Re: Apocalyptic Humor
« Reply #44 on: April 25, 2015, 10:14:19 pm »

Star Date 344,757.093821 (late naked ape tool makers date 2066): Gardener Commander Zarkploof Report 747:

The last of the naked ape tool makers ceased biochemical activity in the most recent revolution of the blue planet around it's sun. It fell in a nuclear waste pool while being chased at night by a pack of large canines. The canines left at dawn. The ape swam, then crawled, out but lapsed into unconsciousness from treading water for so long. It was then bitten by several large rodents and bled to death while trying to fend them off. The rodents, the canines and a nearby ant colony disposed of the remains. All of those creatures subsequently died of radionuclide poisoning. The radionuclide pollution is extensive. We have sent probes to aid existing species in maintaining some vitality. We are doing this in order to provide the biochemical substrate for reseeding efforts so we won't have to start from microscopic autotrophs in rebuilding the biological energy absorption pyramid.

It is estimated that 245,000 local years will be required for the nuclear contaminants (Mostly the one the naked apes called Plutonium but there are several others) to cease degrading the biosphere with harmful mutations.

Our DNA bank has 157% of the species populating the planetary biosphere prior to the naked ape polluting millennium that destroyed the naked apes. NOTE: We will file a detailed report on the extinct species such as the giant reptiles and mammals in regard to the reseeding timeline.

For the next 100,000 years we will seed various fungi to absorb radionuclides for the purpose of collecting them and depositing them in the local sun. Perhaps, because of this activity, the time for active reseeding can take place somewhat earlier than 245,000 years. But we must bear in mind what happened on the Zeta 382, which required an increase in wait time, instead of a decrease. As was the case at Zeta 382, there are chemicals the naked killer apes produced in their ignorance that, though not radioactive, are deleterious to life and even more difficult to eliminate than the radioactive elements. The glyphosate poison is one of many that are ubiquitous in this thoroughly degraded biosphere.  So caution is advised.

As to the naked killer ape tool makers, we recommend the DNA of this species be modified to prevent self awareness. It seems that self awareness, though it does help them develop primitive cause and effect horizon logic, does not aid them in avoiding the manufacture of tools to wantonly exploit the biosphere they require for life. These beings always seem to fail through the "fool with a tool" axiom of degenerate self aware species development postulated by the philosopher Glado the Putzenko in his "Beings that Don't Understand Being" treatise. They cannot seem to grasp the idea that defecating where one obtains nourishment is suicidal when the product of defecation is an industrial pollutant.

This planet is a very depressing and sad place to visit at the moment. Speaking for myself and all of the crew, I request home leave equivalent to 20 local planet years on our home planets.

One of the factors creating stress in our crew is the fact that the naked killer ape tool makers looked so much like us.




Respecfully,

Gardener Commander Zarkploof

   

 
« Last Edit: January 14, 2019, 05:13:24 pm by AGelbert »
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou
hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Acts 8:20

 

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